Freud & Jung: The Power of Shadows and Monsters
PSYCHOLOGY – The terms shadows and monsters were introduced by Freud and Jung. Our shadow side covers those aspects of ourselves that we deny, distancing them to the unknown area of our consciousness. These include unwanted emotions or specific pain points that are perceived as negative. They trouble us, evoke fear and we avoid confronting them. It is important to confront this “Monster” and explore the profound messages it holds. Are you brave enough to meet your shadows and monsters?
Shadows and Monsters: Descriptions in Psychology
Psychology provides various descriptions for the dark side within us, representing the unwanted part that we prefer to avoid knowing.
- C.G. Jung described it as following: “The unwanted part of us that we do not want to see and know: It is the sum of the negative, unpleasant sides, which we not dare to openly express.”
- Monsters can function as internal guardians, serving as protectors for something vulnerable and painful. Their protective role can be so effective that they overly protect you and with that also block the access to your heart and soul. This is, of course, not what you want. To re-open the gate to your heart, it is crucial to confront the shadow and defeat the monster.
- Zweig and Abrahams described the core message perfectly: “To experience wholeness, one must confront their shadow, feel it in their body, and recognize that we can be both victims and creators.” Remember, you have the power and control to choose!
Carl Jung"The shadow is a moral problem that challenges the whole ego-personality, for no one can become conscious of the shadow without considerable moral effort. To become conscious of it involves recognizing the dark aspects of the personality as present and real. This act is the essential condition for any kind of self-knowledge."
Confronting Shadows and Monsters leads to Wholeness
It is in the human nature to hide our shadows, the monster prefers to remain hidden in his hideout, avoiding to leave it’s shelter at all costs. Suppressing and pushing these elements away, whether consciously or not, takes a large amount of energy. Nevertheless the hiding, our shadows is always there in every aspect of our life. It is there unconsciously, in our behaviours, norms and values, resistance, judgements, addictions and patterns. What we try to avoid facing, demands attention through: persistent resistance, intense reactions, instincts and drives. It repeatedly manifesting until exhaustion forces us to turn around, confront the monster and acknowledge it’s presence.
In that moment, the realization settles in that this shadow is an integral part of us, the monster is belonging to us and it is presenting a choice: accept it as a part of ourselves and learn to manage it by integrating it, or constructively transform it to reduce its impact. In each journey inward, our shadow becomes an inevitable encounter. The entire process of acknowledging, meeting, recognizing and ultimately allowing the shadow leads to a sense of wholeness.
Carl Jung"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate"
Most common Shadows and Monsters
In coaching, you may encounter various types of dark sides and monsters, many people are familiar with the following monsters below. These are the most common ones and that makes them worthwhile to explore.
The Money Monster
Money often becomes an issue, especially for those who claim, “I don’t care about money, it’s not important to me.” There’s often a hidden dark side here. It could mean not standing up for yourself, perhaps in salary negotiations, or frequently conceding in any negotiation. The Money Monster influences giving too much, taking too little, attaching little importance to wealth, possessions, or the opposite. Explore your own dynamics with money, including family background. What does money represent for you? Is it linked to wealth or poverty? What messages about money did you learn in your upbringing? These questions might help you find this monster.
Ayn Rand"Money is only a tool. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver."
The Sexuality Monster
Censorship often surrounds matters of sexuality and intimacy. In coaching relationships, or other professional relationships with intense contact, issues of intimacy and sexual attraction may arise. Especially if boundaries have been crossed or there’s a taboo in the family background. It is important to investigate if you carry a monster concerning sexuality. This monster is closely linked to the shame monster. What is permissible and what is not? This question might help you find this monster.
Oscar Wilde"Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power."
The Failure Monster
This shadow insists that failure is not allowed: it’s seen as a mark of failure. Particularly, perfectionists or those consciously or unconsciously showcasing only their successful side carry the shadow of failure. This also encompasses the darker sides of power and powerlessness. It comes to the question if you feel yourself valuable or not.
Leonardo DiCaprio"Why worry? If you have done the very best you can. Worrying won't make it any better. If you want to be successful, respect one rule: Never let failure take control of you"
The Guilt Monster
People may consciously or unconsciously feel haunted when they believe they’ve done something wrong or have fallen short of their standards, leading to a fear of no longer fitting in. The guilt monster, along with its sister, the dificiency monster, resides here. The guilt monster can make us feel despondent or induce a desire to do everything to fit in and be accepted. These questions might help you find this monster: Is there something you feel like you need to make up for? What are you constantly trying to redeem?
Elder David A. Bednar"Guilt is to the spirit what pain is to the body."
Coaching: Working with Shadows and Monsters
In our coaching program we offer, we work a lot with shadows and monsters. We believe that every shadow holds a hidden quality. When you confront the shadow and the monster, it transforms. It loses its power and can become a force. This transformation creates space and a sense of wholeness, as polarities turn into yin-yang. There are various ways to work with the shadow, such as the Pyramide of Bateson & Dilts, Value Based Transformation and various methods for working with the subconscious including subpersons and creative techniques. Our coaches are specialized in working with these techniques and methods.
John C. Maxwell"While coaching may shed light on your strengths, it takes a skilled guide to illuminate the shadows within, helping you harness the power of your hidden potential."
Coaching: Transform the Monster in the Shadow
It is always about creating awareness, experiencing it, accepting it and transforming it. This will lead to positive changes.
Create Awareness
Being aware helps us discover the deeper sources of pain, betrayal, shame, guilt, etc. This allows us to go deeper into ourselves, getting closer to our true self and gaining authenticity.
Getting to Know your Shadow
Understanding the shadow and monster, weakens its power and reveals the roots of our limitations and self-sabotage. This leads us back to the original purpose, the once-positive function of the monster. From there, we can experience more space in our lives as they are meant to be. Bringing deep-seated themes and development patterns to the surface helps us embrace the original uniqueness of our heart and soul.
Facing the Family Monster
Facing the shadow helps untangle complications, especially in systemic work. In family constellations, it often becomes clear which is the (unconscious) family monster that has lingered in the shadows, sometimes for generations.
Find and Accept the Shadow Side
Whenever the shadow side, the hidden monster, is acknowledged and accepted, it brings forth space, wholeness and love. In other words, within every shadow, every monster, there is a Wise Man and a Wise Woman. Once found, they serve as guides, granting permission to follow the movement of our soul.
Are you ready to get to know your shadows and monsters and transform them?
